This news article has been vetted and approved by KLIT ESPORTS HR & PR.
Welcome
... to KLIT ESPORTS first team building exercise! In this article we'll give a little sneak peak to the INNOVATIVE methods this once-in-a-generation organisation uses to get this high performing klit-collection to relax, to forge a tight klit squad and encur no court cases 🙂↕️. Promise.
SARAZZLE'S POOL
Even though Sarazzle has now officially been sold to The Laboobies [ She demanded to be released, and went for free - Lawyer's note ], she graciously offered KLIT ESPORTS and their roster to come to Sarazzle's Pool ( offical name ™️) for a swim 🏊♀️. As the super host that she is, she even set up a camera to capture it all, obviously to let us have footage to improve our trendsetting process. [ Remove the mention of the camera. - Lawyer's note ].
The pool facilities are filled to the brim with state of the art equipment, like this flotation device resembling a half dismembered man, with a plugable shotgun wound to the chest. More on that bit in a bit.
As you can see, everything is ready for the team to be able to float and boat around. Despite them being gamers, they all have excellent swimming skills. No one got life saving assistence, we guarantee. [ Remove this lie - Laywer's note ]
Either way, look at this video of Left4Cookie and Lola Luftnagle, captured with Sarazzle's camera, doing a never-seen-before exercise.
Putting the KLIT in team building
This exercise is called "Plug the hole, be the pole". It is a pair exercise, and it requires one of the pair to try to plug the chest hole of the half dismembered man, so it doesn't take in water and sink. Then the they also need be stiff as a pole to let other in the pair to be able to sit on them. This is to hammer home the dual point that:
- Sometimes you are expected to carry others in Valorant
- It's okay to be carried and don't overract, even though you see your team mate fighting for their life.
Left4Cookie is not naked in this clip btw, it's just a skin colored shorts. [ Remove this lie - Laywer's note ]
WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS
This revolutionary org dont be lazy. We have several other trips and team building efforts planned. KLIT ESPORTS can give you little tease of one, all we can say it involves an anonymous van! Remember, all of this is for the one true goal, of reaching Champs 2026 🙏